Secrets of Raising Successful Children
If you want your child to succeed, science suggests five things you should do every day. You can do these, only five of them, how hard could it be?
1- Take care of them and keep an eye on them
This can be exhausting, sometimes you may think your words go in one ear and out in the other. But British researchers say that parents with high expectations are more successful and avoid some of life's pitfalls.
Especially in a study conducted among 15,000 British girls over 10 years between the ages of 13-14 and 23-24, children whose parents had high expectations;
They are more likely to go to university,
They are less likely to get pregnant at a young age,
The probability of long-term unemployment is lower,
They concluded that they are less likely to get stuck in low-paying jobs that will get nowhere.
As a result, children may not like to hear their parents' "high expectations" and they may not react to hear you, but at the end of the day, they actually hear you.
Essex University is on this subject; “Behind every successful woman is a compelling mother. Young girls are more likely to be successful if they have a compelling mother, ”he said.
2- Praise them on the right topics and in the right way
There are two main issues that parents praise their children. The first is their innate abilities, the second is their effort. For example;
Praise for innate talent: You did a great do, you are very clever!
Praise for the effort: You did a great job, you worked hard and you got it!
As a result, praise your kids for their efforts, not their abilities.
This was achieved through research by Carol Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford University. Studies generally center around developing mind and constant mind processes.
If you praise someone for their innate intelligence, you are praising something that has nothing to do with achieving, something that they don't strive to improve.
But if you praise him for his effort, you support him that his success in life is up to him and his efforts.
If you are a relatively new parent and you think this kind of separation will be more important as your children grow up, think again. This praise strategy can also be effective for children aged 1-3 years.
3- Take them out
This is a simple thing. In addition, when the weather is good, it will be enjoyable for both your children and you.
Think of it this way; We hear that working in offices is killing us all the time. But what do we want our children to do for six or seven hours a day? Sitting in the classroom.
This kind of education is absolutely insane. Instead, science says children should be encouraged to play outdoors whenever possible.
Researchers in Europe tracked the activities and time spent by 153 children aged 6-8 years outside. According to this; The more time children spent sitting or not being physically active, the slower their progress in reading over the next two years.
4- Read them the right things and the right way
This is really important, especially when they're young. Children of parents who read a lot to their children are much more successful.
It turns out that there is such a thing as reading right and misreading for children.
The wrong way is simply to read. We all have done this. Sometimes you are so tired while reading to your children that we connect to an autopilot.
But the right thing is to interact and communicate with your child while they are reading when you can. For example, ask them to read part of the book. After reading a little, ask for your opinion on what will happen next. If it's too small for this, ask him to turn the page for you.
5- Have them help with household chores
This is really important. Julie Lythcott-Haims, Dean of Stanford University, touches on this in her bestseller How to Raise an Adult.
The author points out in his book that people generally need two things to be successful in their lives. The first is love, the second is work ethic.
How do you improve work ethics at an early age?
Yes, you get it. Washing the dishes, taking out the garbage, walking the dog, cleaning their rooms… Of course, parents have to poke their children all the time.
When you make them do household chores, they realize that they have to do business to be a part of life. They are doing something other than just dealing with themselves or their needs.
So what is the parent's disadvantage in this matter? Have you seen the state of the dishwasher after asking a 9-year-old boy to put the dishes in the machine? Or did you have to walk around with a lot of bags in hand after asking your 7-year-old to walk the dog?
Yes, it would probably be easier for you if you did things yourself, especially in the early stages. But that's not the point.
We are all together on this issue. Maybe when the kids grow up, we'll get a thank you from them.