Discover the Power of Dealing with People with All Your Sincerity
Why is it a fascinating experience to deal with others with all your sincerity? What is the role of being genuinely interested in the people around you and the stories they will tell? We answered questions like.
"If you take care of other people instead of trying to get other people interested in you, you will find that in just two months you will make a lot more friends ”- Dale Carnegie
One day I went to a barber in Hong Kong because my hair had grown a little. I had one of the most fascinating experiences I could have had during my haircut there.
I was going to this barber the last few times, and they used to wash my hair in the sink every time before cutting. What they did was turn the chair, lay my head on a sink and wash my hair while making me sit back and rest. The sink was designed to have a space that fits your neck.
Interestingly enough, the attendant who was washing my hair this time did it in a different way. As always, we were in a friendly conversation and she washed my hair while sitting upright in my chair. I found this experience fascinating, so I asked him more questions on the topic. "This is a new method, isn't it?" I said. This simple question triggered a truly fascinating conversation.
The officer explained that he had other customers who said he found the other method disturbing, and when this was the case, they discussed this issue among themselves as employees. They thought it would be a much better experience for customers, so they decided to try this new method. Then I asked how they learned and decided to try this new method, because the method seemed quite unusual. He said that one of the expert stylists I spoke with was from a Singaporean and that this is how this work has always been done in Singapore. This was extremely surprising for me, because I realized that something was done in completely different ways in different cultures, and how strong the connection between different methods and cultures can be.
Later on, this particular case reminded me of the moment when a friend of mine, who previously worked at Google, made the decision to leave his position as CTO (chief technology officer) and made a statement about his experience with Facebook for the past few years.
All this innovation comes to life through a situation of cross-pollination between companies.
Later, I asked the woman who was washing my hair whether they were consciously asking customers for feedback, and I said how surprised and impressed I was that they had really listened to their customers, discussed the situation and decided together how to improve the customer experience. Many startups in the tech industry focus on this topic, but until then I thought most decisions were simply made in traditional businesses and everything was progressing "as it should be." In fact, some things - just like this method of washing hair - seemed to be a set of rules that were not written down but would never change.
We talked a lot that day about this traditional concept of business that demands feedback and has a strong character. The attendant also told me about a small coffee shop nearby. He also stated that he preferred this place rather than going to much larger chain stores because he believed that the operation here is much more individual and that he can establish a stronger communication with the employees.
Our conversation went on for a long time and it was really impressive.
Why is it a fascinating experience to deal with others with all your sincerity?
The words I included at the beginning of my article are an excerpt from the book The Art of Winning Friends and Influencing People, and this book is, in my opinion, the most popular book of all time. It may also be the only book that has had the greatest impact on my life so far.
One of the basic skills mentioned in the book regarding communication, making friends and improving social life was showing a genuine interest in other people. The way I question myself has radically changed with this book. Thanks to me, I realized how we could turn our air-to-water conversations into a search program to research about others, and it didn't take me long to conclude from my experience in both business and personal life how useful and efficient this skill was.
After all, who likes to chat with people who just talk about themselves?
My most surprising experience with the book was after I talked about the new hair washing technique. The officer started asking me about what I've done in Hong Kong, how long I've been there, and the different places I've been to. He gave me a great suggestion for a new beach I could go to. While I showed a genuine interest in what he did and what was a big part of his life, he became more and more sincere interested in me.
Because the secret was to apply one of two things when we met new people:
1. Put yourself in Sherlock Holmes's shoes for a moment. Let the people you meet are the most mysterious people in the world. Your job is to find out why this is so.
2. Every person is an expert on a subject that you cannot be. You should look to learn something from them.
The main point here is that people know something that you don't know and you want to find out what it is. This situation will help you. In this way, you will listen carefully and actively to the other person. You will ask questions, make eye contact with them.
This is exactly what the author Carnegie talks about in his book. According to him, one of the main principles of communication is this "interest" towards others. This is something that I have been seriously trying to bring out. I can even say that recently I have also been involved in the "Struggle for Interest" business.
The struggle for attention required you to resist the habit of talking about yourself and focus on showing a deep interest in others. To be honest, it was hard for me to listen to others talking about themselves 24 hours a day and avoid talking about myself. Because I was eager to tell people what I was doing in general, and to share my plans with them, but because I both read the book and tried to consciously focus on other concepts as well as the subject of interest in the book, the results I got were quite remarkable. and some just awaited that moment when people would hear their stories.
During this time I learned that talking about what someone else is doing can also be a really interesting thing. The only thing I had to do was to pursue this interest that awakened inside me and which I had already had, to ask more questions and keep talking.
Before understanding this fact, people couldn't share their thoughts with me because I was always talking. Now I know what to do, and people are telling me things they've never told me before.
This is a fascinating experience for me and it allows us to establish a much stronger bond with the person in front of me, and the world of opportunity is wide open for me.
Nevertheless, it should never be forgotten that the key word here is “sincerity”. I think this is a really important point. It should not be a coincidence that Carnegie gave the best explanation on this subject.
“The principles taught in this book will only work when they come from the heart. Because I'm not telling a bag of tactics, I'm talking about a new lifestyle. "
If you ask what the lesson you learned from this book was, I'll tell you this: Prove yourself and those around you that you really care about their life. People will feel it when you are not sincere. If you live your life based on this principle, you are likely to encounter good things all the time.
Remember, whenever you can do this, people will welcome you with all their sincerity.
Would you say you are a person who is genuinely interested in the lives of others? Or are you trying enough to achieve this? Please share your comments with us.